Thursday December 14th 2017

About

J&A

Thrash N’ Bang is the illegitimate brain child of co-authors Jim Slimedog and Andy Bang; 2 brothers (actually siamese twins), who, after being separated at birth, were triumphantly reunited after living apart for 20 years.

The 2 brothers were born in Medford, MA to mother, Lucy, who unfortunately succumbed to her injuries and died giving birth to the 2 brothers. In fact, if it weren’t for the quick thinking of Lucy’s doctor, Dr. Johnson, all three would have died on the spot. The 2 brothers were unfortunately born siamese twins, sharing a single testicle (apparently the 1st to do so). The hospital staff were at odds for quite a while, debating the course of action. Half wanted to leave the brothers connected and half wanted to separate them. Neither option was without drawbacks. For, if they remained connected, what kind of life would they have (i.e. special pants, urinating issues, dating issues, constant sword fighting, etc.). And if separated, which brother should get awarded the single valuable testicle.

Finally, as the 2 brothers existence lay precariously in doubt, Dr Johnson made an executive decision and decided to make the ultimate sacrifice by donating one of his 2 ample testicles to the brothers, so that each might lead a somewhat normal existence. A decision the Doctor would soon regret, as unfortunately, he would also succumb to his own injuries and die as the testicle transplant was being successfully finalized. When the smoke cleared, the 2 brothers, each with a testicle of their own, were put up for adoption and eventually separated.

The 2 brothers grew up apart, each not knowing anything about the other. Each having a normal childhood for the most part. However, they did experience odd sensations from time to time, as if something was missing (besides their other testicles). And as you know, its been well chronicled that twins have a special bond that is beyond normal. Well so too did the 2 brothers also experience a strange connection. However, their strange connection was more related to their separation point which resulted in bizarre happenings. More specifically, sympathetic spontaneous orgasms (also known in medical communities by the acronym, GFY). As it turned out, if one brother experienced an orgasm, so did the other. Which, of course, was a bit disconcerting for the brother that was not expecting the experience. But, as fate would have it, it was this same bizarre trait that would eventually reunite the brothers after 20 years.

As it turned out, Andy got a minor acting role in a triple X movie production (which is where he earned his nickname). The movie was the usual trash by all accounts except for one scene in which Andy was required to orgasm no less than 10 times in succession (…unheard of for any man), but apparently, a knack that Andy somehow inherited from the good Dr. Johnson. So unbeknownst to Andy, while the scene was being filmed, Jim was in another part of the world giving an important speech to a group of high school parents and children about the finer points of abstaining from sex. Unfortunately for Jim, while in the middle of the speech, he spontaneously orgasm-ed 10 times in a row, causing the horrified parents and children to run for the exits. One exiting parent was heard to exclaim, “…you’re just a no good slime dog.” (a nickname that apparently stuck). And so, after composing himself from an experience he would not soon forget, Jim decided to become a musician (a field more appropriate to spontaneous orgasms).

Much later, while Jim was bored at home one evening, he decided to rent a porn movie. And as fate would have it, it was the same movie Andy was in. When Jim got to Andy’s amazing orgasm scene, he was stunned. It was just not possible. He couldn’t believe it. He decided he needed to find Andy, which is exactly what he did. Without getting into too many details, let’s just say that their first meeting was a bit of a sticky mess…. But to make a long story short, the 2 brothers were finally reunited and have been “stuck” together ever since. The rest is history….

 

(Uncle Fester)

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