Barroom Heroes / Penalty Kill / Abject! / Neighborhood Shit
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 5/11/13
This dual texting review of a recent punk matinee show at the Midway will also be our first implementation of our new policy concerning content. We will from now on refrain from using profanity as we feel there is too much filth on the internet, particularly on Slimedog’s laptop, and we seek to set a more wholesome example for the younger people on our site; which in our case includes just about everyone. What brought this to bear was the BarRoom Heroes playing this show and though in the past we gave validity to the rumor of them being circus midgets or midget wrestlers we can now put those fears to rest and hopefully, influence our young people wisely.
As usual, I’m required by federal law to warn of the inherent dangers of dual texting during a punk show. The many dangers are too long to list so unless you have a job where the safety of many depend on you, do not attempt what we trained professionals do.
But in the meantime, which is always a groovy time- turn in, turn on, drop out, drop in and prepare your mind for a wild ride of indescribable delights and enjoyments as we once more enter the world of dual texting.
Slimedog- So this is our first review using our new policy.
Andy- Ah yes, our new policy. Uh, can you refresh my memory as to what the policy is again?
Slimedog- You remember- our vow to not use any profanity in our reviews from now on. Oh, shoot- um, our first band today is Neighborhood Rectal Matter.
Andy- Neighborhood Rectal Matter? What the fuck is that? Oops, I mean, will they be playing music or are they something I should be wiping of my shoe!
Slimedog- You’re right, the name sounds too much like a death metal band. Let’s go with Neighborhood Feces.
Andy- These guys have a nice raw sound. I’ve only heard them once before but today they sound awesome.
Slimedog- I agree, I think it’s interesting how they have some really slow metal parts and then really fast hardcore ones.
Andy- They’re definitely getting the ball rolling today. Or should I say testicle?
Slimedog- Yes agreed. And don’t use the word ball. I think you fucked up a little earlier as well. Now, Abject! are taking the stage. It’s no bull manure that these guys are great.
Andy- Very true and a nicer bunch of guys you will be hard pressed to find. They’re quite the fun band and it looks like the crowd is diggin’ them as well.
Slimedog- And that’s nice that you’re manning the camera for them today for their awesome You Tube channel. You’re stealing Lindsey’s job.
Andy- Hey anything I can do to further the scene. Not to mention I’m getting a great view.
Slimedog- They play immense sounding, intense New York hardcore. Great set and now it’s time for the Boston Bruins favorite hardcore band.
Andy- Yes that’s right it’s The Hip Checks. No no, I mean Penalty Kill.
Slimedog- Yes and they sound great. You would have to be a real kitty incestuous copulater to not like these guys.
Andy- You just ain’t whistling Dixie out of your orifice. They sound quite excellent today.
Slimedog- A good mix of metal, hardcore and punk with a great new CD we just reviewed- much like the next band.
Andy- Yes next up are those ruckus hooligans from Weymouth.
Slimedog- Yeah, it’s the BarRoom Heroes who are all in their teens. The reason we have this new policy is to set a good example to the young bands like them and the F.U.’s. And if anyone doesn’t like it they can Fornicate Off!
Andy- Mother copulating feces!!! The young lads are certainly ripping it up today.
Slimedog- Yeah, they’ve come a long way in the two years we’ve seen them with the addition of their new drummer. They sound like a punk band from ‘78.
Andy- True, I hope they stick to it. It’ll be fun to see where they go.
Slimedog- Probably to H E double toothpicks if they keep playing punk! Hey, Jake is asking me how it sounds and giving me the finger. I just gave him thumbs up and said, “Intercourse You.”
Andy- Serves him right, the little piece of fecal matter.
Slimedog- Unfortunately their first song on their new CD has profanity in the title. I’m sure with time though, I can convince them to switch the title to “Dung Out Of Luck.”
Andy- Hey, if they’re swearing, I think its grounds for us to stop our new policy.
Slimedog- No, think of the kids. Anyway, I think today’s show was fuckin’ great and our review went really fuckin’ well.
Andy- Shit yeah, very fuckin’ awesome.
Slimedog- I can’t wait till we start having our bible studies at the Midway. It will be the testicles!
