Dot Rats / Foulmouth / Ache / Honest John / Aftermath
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 5/31/14
In a complete break from our usual dual texting live review, this one took place at the Midway Cafe and was a hardcore show put on by the able Keith Brooks.
Oh, wait a minute- we do that quite often. But this show did have three new bands for us- two from Connecticut and one from New York, and a couple of Boston bands that we’ve come across in the last six months.
Besides a testicle, here or there, and an unfortunate giraffe- everyone at the show had a great time.
And per usual I must warn about the perils of dual texting. Our reviewers are untrained, unskilled, unsavory, unsanitary and unconscious. Unless you fit into these categories one hundred percent it’s best not to attempt this dangerous, barely legal activity.
But sit back in your comfy chair, light up your pipe (Please, no crack in there!) and let the windows of your mind fly open to take in the fresh, invigorating air of what modern science refers to as “dual texting.”
Slimedog- I know we’re going to the Midway. I looked up the definition. It means “an area of a side show, games of chance, of skills and other amusements.”
Andy- Sounds like the circus.
Slimedog– But more fun! And talk about the circus, Simon (Slimedog’s pet giraffe) is along again. He recently had a disturbing episode involving a lawn sprinkler and a skunk.
Andy- Who was on top? The lawn sprinkler or the skunk? Will there be clowns at the Midway? Clowns are freaky.
Slimedog- You mean besides us? Probably not. But possibly some heavy hardcore as this is a show put on by Keith Brooks. And the first band is Aftermath.
Andy- Well that’s cool because it’s hard to go wrong with a Keith Brooks show. I believe Aftermath is from Connecticut, the home of all good things hardcore and metal.
Slimedog- Yeah I was unaware of where they were from until you told me but they certainly sound great.
Andy- I agree. And a great band to kick off this evening’s festivities.
Slimedog- They don’t sound as heavy as the New York sound but are young, intense and hard hitting. Next up is, I think, a new band for you, Honest John.
Andy- I think I heard them before, when I was in the coma. They have lots of tempo changes that eventually jarred me back to reality, but that’s another story. They sound especially sprightly this afternoon.
Slimedog- Well I believe I’ve seen them many times, but then I do have a hard time distinguishing reality from fiction. This is another band, though intense, that do not play the heavy New York style.
Andy- True.
Slimedog- Yeah they play experimental hardcore and are very good. I just found out the singer is left-handed like myself, Jimi Hendrix, Paul McCartney, Kurt Cobain and Simon.
Andy- Simon seems to be diggin’ them. I wonder if he has three gonads as well. Hey, the next band has an old friend of ours playing guitar.
Slimedog- I’ll check later (on the gonads). I must be mistaken about Simon cause I just realized he has no hands. Next is Ache and they’re from New York and do sound heavy, man.
Andy- Yeah their guitar player used to play with Abject, another great New York band. These guys sound awesome. A bit Cro-Mags influenced I’d say.
Slimedog- They describe themselves as punk/hardcore/crust meaning hardcore with anarchistic lyrics and extreme metal. I just find them extremely good and I predict this will be my favorite set of this afternoon.
Andy- Me too. Hey, when do the side show acts arrive. I’d like to meet the bearded lady or perhaps the man with five penises.
Slimedog- I would tell him to go fuck himself but then he probably would. (Said the man with three testicles). Now it’s time for another Connecticut band- Foulmouth.
Andy- I don’t know about that but I hear his pants fit like a glove. Wow, Foulmouth has an awesome front man and sounds great. Lots of pace changes.
Slimedog- Yeah this is great in your face New York heavy hardcore. Oh no! The moshers have set Simon on fire and hung him from the revolving fan!
Andy- He kinda looks like one of those sparkle wheels you used to play with as a kid.
Slimedog- Oh, no! In an attempt to free Simon my hair caught on fire and now I’m riding him backwards down the street screaming, “I am Justin Timberlake’s uterus!” And worse than that I’m texting about it at the same time!
Andy- Well that’s something you don’t see everyday. Drop anchor and get your ass back here cause we got one more band to check out.
Slimedog- Yes, I must collect my wits about me along with my slightly charred testicles- now down to two. Lucky I was riding a giraffe and not a car or that policeman would’ve given me a ticket! This next band is from Dorchester. Is that in Japan?
Andy- No I believe it’s in France cause I see they have two singers.
Slimedog- No, Mapquest says Boston. Gee, you’d think since we grew up in Hyde Park we’d have heard about it. Must be one of those fancy towns.
Andy- Do you think they have two singers in case one passes out? I think these guys are the Dot Rats and appear to play a more traditional version of punk’n’hardcore.
Slimedog- Or rap core. But still more on the hardcore side. Two good front men, excellent rhythm section, metal like guitar. Good recipe for some mosh-pit hardcore.
Andy- Yes really good drummer. Very tight band. Hey, I think I just saw the bearded lady outside. I’m gonna chat her up and see if she’ll let me shave her.
Slimedog- I’m not going to ask you where. We should saddle up Simon and bounce. He’s not the worse for wear but let’s just say he won’t be having any offspring.
Andy- Okay that’s too bad. Maybe the guy with five penises can spare him some junk. If not I know a plastic surgeon that specializes in sex change operations. Maybe we could call him Simone.
Slimedog- Yes, so many options to such serious questions. But at least we’re sure it was a great show even if we’re unsure of the future gender of our mode of transportation.
Andy- Yes, great show!
