EXPOSURE AT THE RED COACH GRILL
(a one act play by Jim Slimedog)
(The scene takes place in the early 1980’s in a “chain restaurant lounge” outside of Boston named, “The Red Coach Grill”. It might be similar to an Applebee’s or 99 today. A “fifties” band or a band that plays fifties pop songs has just finished their first set. The only problem is that they’ve recently upgraded to being a “show band”, a band that does a Las Vegas type show complete with costume changes and skits (acting out the songs). And tonight they’ve been booked into what used to be called a “cocktail lounge”; a mellow bar with usually just one man playing organ or keyboard as background music. The first set consisted of songs where the lead singer imitated Little Richard, all decked out in black face, large gold earrings, black cape and wig. And the bass player, Jimmy, has done a skit for the last song of the set dressed as a girl. He is wearing a dollar “house-dress” from the Salvation Army, a curly black haired wig and huge plastic breasts that strap on like a corset purchased from a local “joke shop”. Normally, after the set he heads straight to the dressing room area to change but tonight he’s so disgusted with the miss-booking, as is his band-mates, that he retires to a table on the upper part of the bar with a couple other members of the band- Steve and Freddie and also, Steve’s sister Janie and her friend, Cindy. They all order drinks.)
Freddie- This kind of sucks.
Steve- This sucks more than sucks. This sucks all suck out of suck and still sucks some more. That fuckin’ douchbag agent; booking us into a retirement home like this.
Jim- I don’t have anything under my dress, I forgot my swim shorts.
Steve- Really? That’s great. Shows us, flash us right here.
Jim- Naw, Janie and Cindy are here.
Steve- They’ll look away. You girls will turn away, right?
(They both nod in unison and move their heads looking the other way)
Steve- C’mon, do it.
Jim- Naw, naw.
Freddie- Yeah, go for it.
(He lifts his house-dress exposing his genitals for a few seconds to his band-mates. They laugh and then the girls turn their heads back and they continue to chat).
(Shortly after another band-mate, Skip, comes over to their table).
Skip- Did you guys just see what happened?
All- No, no.
Skip- The waitress was bringing up your drinks up on a tray when she saw Jimmy do that! She turned right around and headed back to the bar!
Jimmy- Well, I didn’t mean to….. You know, I got arrested once for indecent exposure once and they had to let me go. You know why?
Steve- No, why Jimmy?
Jimmy- Lack of evidence.
(Lights dim on stage)