Thrash N' Bang!!!

Interview with Jenn Jammies & Little Red Ryann Hood at the Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA
By Slimedog

Here at the TNB brain trust (obviously, this excludes Jimmy Thrash) we recently decided to have interviews with folks other than bands, specifically promoters of shows, fans and people connected to the scene. This interview is with Jenn Jammies, door-chick at the Midway Cafe who books all those all-ages matinee weekend shows at the Midway (and runs the sound) and her good friend, Little Red Ryann Hood, who is the number one fan of the Red Line Rebels (though Matty Bebop would be a good choice, also). Anyways, they’re very good friends- virtually, and in real life. But after this interview we might have to rethink this new direction and seriously consider Jimmy’s idea- telepathically interviewing dead rock stars. Proceed with caution; Thrash N Bang is not responsible for any lost items (like souls or minds).

(tape starts rolling)

Slimedog- So what’s the problem? You’ve got boogies in your eyeballs?

Ryann- (stated emphatically) I’ve got boogies in my eyeballs.

Slimedog- Is that like from a cold or something? Or a disease? Or.. I don’t know.

Ryann- I woke up this morning with boogies in my eyeballs (first line of a famous blues song)

Slimedog- So, is it true that you guys are only friends with girls who have “NN” as the last letters of their names? Do you intentionally do that?

Jenn- Yeah, that’s true.

Slimedog- So, is it true that there was a girl named Jill, who said, “Oh, I have two “L’s” and that you guys shunned her and told her she couldn’t belong, be your friend, is that true?

Both- Yeah, Yeah. (they affirm with glee in their eyes)

Ryann- That’s the background story, basically.

Slimedog- Okay, so how did you become friends?

Ryann- Me, going to shows all the time and Jenn being her awesome self, as always. (giggles)

Slimedog- So, did you meet her down at the Midway?

Ryann- Hmm-mm, a year ago, maybe, I don’t remember.

Sllimedog- So, now this wasn’t on the questions but you are also friends in the (internet game) Simms Social, right? But you are actually more than friends on the Simms Social.

Ryann- Yeah, we make whoopee on the Simms, yep. (laughter)

Slimedog- So, are there gonna be any videos on youtube from this? Commercial movies?

Ryann- Not anytime soon.

Slimedog- Okay.

Ryann- End of interview. (laughter)

Slimedog- Do you have anything you wanna plug?

Jenn- Maybe jprocksandrolls.com It’s basically an art and record fair. It’s once a year, or maybe more. Basically, if you make anything you can bring it and sell it.

Slimedog- Do any of you guys play an instrument?

Both- No.

Ryann- I wanna play the fiddle.

Jenn- I wanna play the upright bass.

Slimedog- Why the upright bass?

Ryann- I’m gonna go to the merch table?

Slimedog- No, stay- a few more questions. What’s wrong with boys? What’s the problem with boys?

Ryann- They fart too much, they smell funny.

Jenn- A lot! They’re like, bi-polar.

Slimedog- That’s the girls but that’s okay.

Jenn- No, but boys- too! (laughter) Especially Gemini’s. Boys do make for good topics for song lyrics when you’re angry. (Laughter)

Slimedog- How about your favorite classic punk bands?

Ryann- I don’t know. I really like The Queers, they’re my favorite.

Jenn- The Undertones, Ramones, Dead Boys.

Slimedog- How about favorite current local ones?

Jenn- Get The Fear, RF30, More Beer Please, The Stretchers and Jonee Earthquake.

Ryann- Besides the Red Line Rebels? Why are you interviewing me? You should just interview her

(Ryann runs away from the interview and Jenn has some sound duties to perform, at the same time Crazy Jay Genoa, singer for the Red Line Rebels enters the area)

Slimedog- So, you have to take over Ryann’s questions, Jay. Why do you have sex with Josh? (bassist for the Red Line Rebels).

Jay- It’s only to get to his girlfriend, (Ryann) I have sex with Josh only because his girlfriend’s hot! I’m trying to get her and her attention and it just doesn’t work! Secretly, her and I are trying to escape together to Hawaii.

Slimedog- Who do you think, between the two of them, would most likely become a serial killer?

Jay- Oh, God. I would say, probably Jenn. She’s got a lot of built up anger and stuff like that.

Slimedog- You know, they have an intimate relationship on Simms?

Jay- Oh, yeah- I wish I could have that. That’s all I’m missing in my life is an intimate relationship on Simms.

(At this point Jenn returns and I inform her that Ryann was refusing to continue the interview and that it might not be complete enough for the site. She proceeded to dash toward the merch table to confront Ryann)

Jenn- You bitch! (grabbing Ryann by the hair) You’re gonna ruin my interview with Thrash N Bang!

(Jenn and Ryann started rolling on the ground; clawing, pulling hair and gouging boogies from each others eyeballs. The boys gathered around in an appreciative manner. Then, Smilin’ Dave, the friendly bartender, leaped over the bar and broke a bottle of Wild Turkey over Jenn’s head while Ryann was pulled away by Jay and Josh.)

Slimedog- So, who’s most likely to become a serial killer?

Ryann- I’ll kill her, let me at her!

Jenn- Uh,uh. (semi-conscious lying on the floor)