Kermit’s Finger / Jonee Earthquake Band / Girth Control / The Low Babies / The Lipstick Boys
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 7/16/16
This is the second Saturday in a row I’m seeing Kermit’s Finger!
I see Pete Pasted, guitarist/vocalist of the band in the club before the bands start to play and I accost him.
I tell him, “You know, I recently sold my soul to the devil. And he asked me, “So whattya want? You want riches untold? Do you wanna be Donald Trump’s running mate?”
I thought about it and I said, “I want to see Kermit’s Finger play every Saturday afternoon through eternity.”
He said, “Eh, I’ll give you two weeks.” And I took it. (I saw them last Saturday so it’s the end of the deal.)
Eh, seems like a soul is something you don’t really use anyways, like a gallbladder or an appendix or a brain (in America.)
Satan said to me, “And you white boys don’t have much soul, anyhoo.”
Funny thing, that dude Satan, he was listening to Contemporary Christian Rock.
“Yeah, it’s kind of ironic,” he laughed, “But metal is too loud and grates on my nerves. But look at the Christian far-right! Now, those are some people I can really get behind. That Ted Cruz, dude! He’s a devil after my cold blackened heart.”
And speaking of Satan- why, Eric and Kris are here from the JP Porchfest that I attended and reviewed last week.
They traveled all this way, all down the street, just to see this show! Eric asks if I want a beer. “No,” I say, “But do you have any hot dogs?”
The Lipstick Boys are first to take the stage today. This will be my second time seeing them. The first time, only one of the three shirtless boys were wearing a bra, today it is two. I, immediately, place a call to the governor of North Carolina as I fear these guys are going to try to slip into the ladies room.
This is a band that is hard to categorize though I do like them and do consider them a punk band. Some songs sound almost alternative, others hardcore but all of them are rockin’ so it’s all good to me. And they’re always fun to see. (Not see, that’s appalling, I meant “hear.”) I wanna describe them as Blue Oyster Cult if they were a punk band but I’m afraid, I don’t know what that means.
They end their set with my favorite song by them “Surf” that is tagged onto “Bite It You Scum” by Contemporary Christian artist G.G. Allin. (Why do I get the feeling he’s gonna rise out of his grave to hunt me down when I type that line?)
In the eighties, G.G. was supposed to play a club that used to be about three blocks from here- Green Street Station. I didn’t go because, unlike now, I didn’t want to get hit in the head with a microphone and have feces thrown at me. But I did ask others, who I knew planned to attend, how it went.
Seems when they were loading equipment into the club, G.G. went into a corner of the club and pissed on the floor. The owner said, “That’s it, no show.” And the show was cancelled- cancelled during load in!
The Low Babies are next. This is a new band and at first the sound is a bit tentative but once they get rolling they get the people’s bloodstreams flowing.
On their facebook they mention “punk/rock’n’roll/glam rock.” But to me they just sound like a punk influenced band that knows how to rock out. Their sound is a nice mixture of garage, punk and rock’n’roll and they play an excellent set.
During it they play a cover song but I can’t place it, so I saunter over to Pete Pasted and ask him.
“That’s The Undertones,” he says, “I Don’t Wanna Get Over You.”
Another story: I saw The Undertones, along with sixties R&B act Sam & Dave, open up for The Clash at the Orpheum Theatre in Boston in ’79 or ’80. Best show I’ve ever seen.
Several people told me they love Girth Control and I told several people I had never seen them.
But they sound familiar to me and on their third tune, during the funny reggae song “Too Many Dudes,” I realize I’ve seen them and reviewed them before, right here at the Midway.
And they are a really great band. They’re from Albany, New York with funny lyrics and music that falls into the pop/punk/ska/hardcore style.
They play really fast but are really too cheerful for me to call them hardcore. I’ll call them soft-core with simulated sex scenes and still rate them triple x (XXX) that is- if X marks the spot.
The crowd loves them, I love them, they love the Midway.
Another story: I spent a night once in Albany. It appeared to be an absolute shit hole but this band is grand!
Jonee Earthquake is a surf/punk band- heavy on the surf, light on pretension and smothered in fun. The leader dresses like a pirate. Not sure why he does that and I’m not sure if he knows either.
Their first song is an instrumental and after it he asks, “How are the vocals out there?” He says quite a few funny lines, and the band plays quite a few, fun songs like “Girl On A Surfboard” and “I Don’t Wanna Get Shot.”
They play a slow surf instrumental on what, I believe, is called a Hawaiian guitar. It’s “Sleepwalk” by Johnny & Santos from 1959. Though I figure I’m the only one in the club who knows that (I used to be a fifties music bass player in a previous life.)
Now, it’s time for Kermit’s Finger. I really like this band but you already know that if you’ve read my review last week. They play early hardcore/punk more in the style of a band like The FU’s than the heavy hardcore bands that came after.
They play my favorite set of the day and my favorite song by them “Punk Rock Bus Driver” is played towards the end of their great set.
And somewhere over the rainbow, in the middle they do a cover of Nervous Eaters “Shit For Brains.”
Another story: Nick, of Fast Times, told me his dad Alan, of the Nervous Eaters had never seen his band play until about a year ago. And when his dad finally did see them it was on a bill with Kermit’s Finger and when they played that song his dad said to him, “Hey, that’s one of our songs.”
And now I’m out of stories, I’m past my word limit, I’ve been shut off and have no money left but I keep putting returnable’s on the bar counter in the hope to get more beer but I’m being shown the door.
Oh, well- I still have other parts of my body I can sell to the devil if he’s interested.
(Slimedog)
