MOTELY CRUE
Okay, first of all I think this is a great fuckin’ song and Motely Crue a great fuckin’ band. But I look at this video and these three wussie metal dudes stroll into the strip joint, throw a switchblade into a table where a Southern looking trucker guy is sitting and he just meekly scurries away
Wrong- this is the part of the video where it should be the trucker takes the knife and says, “Which one of you girls are ready to become a real girl first?” And then proceeds to castrate them. But then videos aren’t real, rock’n’roll isn’t real life and you may be dreaming a nightmare but this is really a Motely Crue video/documentary.
I know, I know- you’re saying, “But Andy Bang does the metal ones.” Stop complaining or I’ll sic that biker dude on your ass. You see, though I think Bang likes this band they’re probably 178 on his list and on mine they’re number one. And with them announcing their Final Tour this week (How is it none of them are dead?) I feel it’s time to give them their due- or castration.
Now is Motely Crue really a metal band? I guess they’re lumped in the Los Angeles hair metal or glam metal scene of the later eighties which happens to be my favorite type of metal (with every one reading this now saying to themselves, “Thank God he just covers punk”).
But before you castrate me with a rusty switchblade let me state that I grew up with glitter/glam rock. David Bowie, Alice Cooper, New York Dolls, Lou Reed, Roxy Music were my favorite bands. This is before metal even existed besides Black Sabbath. English punk has definite roots in glam rock as it was very popular there a few years before punk. And glam metal combined the hard rock of bands like Aerosmith with the flash of the New York Dolls along with the nihilism of punk. Not a bad recipe for a delectable decadent delight in my mind.
According to drummer Tommy Lee, they never considered themselves a metal band and felt more attuned to bands like The Sex Pistols and The Damned than The Scorpions and Judas Priest.
But in a more serious philosophical discourse I must consider Tommy Lee the best musician of all time. Being involved with Heather Locklear and Pamela Lee Anderson at least makes him the most envied by me.
And talk about your serious philosophical discussions. This video of “Looks That Kill” has the boys as mean cave men who lock up all the girls, I guess that was the only way they could get them to listen to their song. But then some mighty woman comes over a mountain and liberates them, it could be Hilary Clinton or maybe Sheena Easton, not sure. She gives them copies of Nirvana’s Nevermind album and then the boys form together in a circle jerk. And silly as the video is this is a great song with hooks that kill and a neat instrumental hook that implies time change without changing it- pretty neat.
“Dr. Feelgood” is probably more a love song to their drug dealers than the cautionary tale it presumes. I think Mick Mars is one of the most underrated guitarists of all time and really kept this unit musically afloat. You can hear Hendrix and Van Halen in his playing but also a lot of understated technique and heart as well.
“Angela” is one of my favorite songs by them. With its snarling guitar licks, strutting rhythms and bluesy style it suggest a girl on a runway shedding her clothes as the song spins away. They make Van Halen look like a pompous, prog band by comparison- though it took Sammy Hager joining to really turn that band into Genesis. This song sounds like it’s about a hard luck angel with a golden heart trying to survive in the gutter of the L.A. nightclub debris. “Now when the wind cries Angela, Angela I’ll be there for you.” While the sentiment is superb and the song is too, I’m afraid that when Angela needs them they’ll be passed out in a downs and alcohol daze.
“Piece Of Your Action” starts out like it’s a Van Halen song then locks into a hard, tight funky groove. The vocal has a pleadin’, achin’, screamin’ teenage lust of a Friday Night high school make out session. “I want you, I need you.” While the guitar, bass and drums hit below the belt. Nicely arranged song as well.
Another funky, bluesy hard rock workout called “Teaser” with some psychedelic sounds happening that Hendrix might approve of.
So this is Motely Crue’s last tour, as they explained it, they don’t want to hang around and eventually have to play county fairs or only have two members of the original band. This is laudable if they stick with it.
I will say that Vince Neil is starting to look like a suburban, bleach-blonde soccer mom with a mustache. I imagine her hitting on embarrassed twenty year old college guys with a fake I.D at the local dive. She keeps spilling her Bud Light draft on the laps of the poor cubs while offering to lap it up.
Motely Crue- full of sleaze and sex and promiscuity- youth rebellion, Sunset Strip- loud guitars, ambiguous attire and looks- hard rock music with hard living tales. What I like best about them is I think it might still upset some folks if you like them and that, my friends, is what makes rock’n’roll. Call them dumb, call The Ramones dumb while you’re at it, but these guys had some great tunes. They may sound more like metal to my ears but I believe their heart is punk and I’m glad to claim them.
(Slimedog)
