Nightslasher / Descend Upon The Sane / Threat Nurse
Roggie’s, Boston, MA 3/22/14
So if you’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting us your quite aware that we are not usually the youngest guys in the club and quite frequently the oldest. And if you’ve ever had the misfortune of actually seeing us you know we dress and look rather plain and normal.
So as we approached Roggie’s on a Saturday night I knew, that when we entered, we would be assumed to be there for the lovely pizza, served upstairs, and not for the Satan loving metal music all- ages show in the basement.
I kept saying to Andy, imitating what I knew for sure, right before we entered, “You guys here for the lovely pizza?” And sure enough when we entered we were seated before we could explain that we wanted to go down stairs. When the waitress came with the menus we tried to explain again and she just asked us if we wanted something to drink.
Once more we approached the host but this time Andy had a brilliant scheme, “Our sons are playing in the bands downstairs, we’re here to see them.” They let us on our way, but as we strolled down the stairs at the bottom lay another possible obstacle. A couple of guys and a girl in full metal headbanging gear eyed us suspiciously. “Are you guys here for the bands?” the girl asked us incredulously.
“Yeah,” I said excitedly.
“It’s our sons, we’re here to see them play,” Andy said pleadingly.
“Seven Dollars,” and with a quick exchange we finally reached our destination.
This is a dual texting review of a thrash metal show at Roggies which has frequent all-ages shows, metal and punk, on Saturday evenings. For this we applaud them and hope they continue with much success.
As always we stress the inherent dangers of dual texting and ask all who reads this, unless you’re emotionally crippled and disturbed as us, please refrain from such dangerous actions. But for now sit back, relax and let the words enter your consciousness like a calm wind off a rough sea, of danger mixed with tranquility- and experience the wondrous world of dual texting.
Slimedog- Wow, lucky we got in. I guess when they say all-ages they’re not expecting us.
Andy- Yah well I guess they were expecting us to order a pizza, watch some TV, fart and fall asleep.
Slimedog- But we have more exciting things to do. I believe my auto correct smoked some angel dust so I think this is either a Flash Petal show, a Crash Pebble show or a Slash Meddle show.
Andy- That sounds about right, depending on how much we drink tonight. But I think it’s pronounced Thrash Metal Show.
Slimedog- Dammit! I was hoping it was gonna be Slash doing his act where he stops the band playing and tells them how Guns N Roses would’ve done it. But that sounds very good, indeed.
Andy- I think Roggie’s might be my second favorite venue. And their individual beer pitchers are very reasonably priced.
Slimedog- Agreed but their “no giraffe” policy is a bummer. I tied Simon (my pet giraffe) to a parking meter. I hoped I put enough quarters in so he doesn’t get towed.
Andy- Ahh don’t worry, no one will want to tow an eight foot yellow spotted beast.
Slimedog- That’s no way to talk about the meter maid! Hey the first band is ascending the glamorous stage. It’s Threat Nurse.
Andy- That’s an interesting name that conjours up strange thoughts in my head. They seem to have a bit of a death thrash thing goin’ on.
Slimedog- They describe themselves as a mix of hardcore and death metal. I think they’re more death metal, but whatever they are, it sounds good.
Andy- Yes I agree. And there’s quite a good crowd here to enjoy them as well.
Slimedog- True I think these “nurses” would fit fine on either a punk or metal show. Now it’s time for Descend Upon The Sane.
Andy- I think they’d be hard pressed to find a sane person in here tonight. They have a more traditional metal sound.
Slimedog- But then they mix it up with a more modern sounding death metal one. And they have an excellent drummer who plays with a bit of swing.
Andy- Hey I wonder if we should take a break and check on Simon?
Slimedog- Oh, I already did. I brought him a pizza. I’d just like to add that this band also has a female bassist who does a great job and it’s great to see this in metal.
Andy- Agreed. You took the words right out of my mouth or maybe it was phlegm. Either way these dudes and dude-ess played a great set.
Slimedog- Now it’s time for Nightslasher. Hey, these guys are like the BarRoom Heroes of metal.
Andy- Yah they’re definitely a young outfit. I was just chatting with the mother of the drummer who was saying he just started playing in the band.
Slimedog- They’re all under eighteen, I’m guessing, and have three guitars! They certainly got the thrash sound down good.
Andy- Yah they’re very tight and energetic. I think they’ll be keeping their new drummer.
Slimedog- I like how they’re playing a surf instrumental, “Pipeline,” but it seems only the drummer and one of the guitarist learned it. Excellent front man BTW.
Andy- Yes and it’s nice to see a couple of senior citizens here to enjoy the show. And I’m talking about us. One guy has a hearing aid, but I’m not sure why.
Slimedog- I was just talking to them and they’re really in their thirties which just goes to show what happens when you don’t have a daily jog and wheat germ diet like us. Hey the guys are playing, “For Whom The Bell Tolls.”
Andy- And doing a great job at that. Hey I think one of those “30 year olds” just punched the other one in the face and stole his walker.
Slimedog- Oh. No! And Simon broke his leash and ran into the kitchen for more pizza and set himself on fire again!
Andy- He probably heard the Metallica tune. You know how that drives him crazy and makes him spontaneously com-bust. We’d better douse him and get the hell out of here before they put two and two together.
Slimedog- Yeah great show, but I’m starting to think they’re right that a giraffe is not a good pet for urban living.
Andy- Ah don’t listen to them. How many folks get to ride a giraffe to a rock show? Can I drive on the way back?
