Seax / Led To The Grave / Shallow Ground / Reckless Force
Ralph’s Diner, Worcester, MA 3/15/13
Andy Bang and I had the recent pleasure of an evening of metal entertainment at the sleek and luxurious Ralph’s Diner in the cosmopolitan city of Worcester Mass. Actually, Ralph’s is a pretty cool place and Worcester is a nice down to earth town with cheaper drink prices than Boston. Ralph’s Diner looks like a diner but they only serve three things, but once inside, if you go to the right you’re in a bar that looks like the bottom of an old ship. But then you head up some stairs and you’re now in a dark old room with a stage that looks like a kids Christmas pageant is going to be performed upon. Still, this place has character and style and seems very conducive to the notion of metal bands which is probably why this may be TNB’s most frequent club for enjoying metal.
As usual we conducted a dual texting live review using the utmost up-to-date technology in doing so. Once again, I must warn you from trying this yourself as we are highly trained professionals and no, that does not mean we were high when we were trained—drunk, sure.
So sit back and let the words wash over your weary membranes soothing you in a nurturing wave of bliss as we take a step into the future of the brave, new, exciting, scrotum expanding world of dual texting.
Slimedog- Well, here we are at the lovely and quaint Ralph’s Diner.
Andy- Yes, I always enjoy going to Ralph’s. It reminds me of The Rat for some strange reason.
Slimedog- Maybe because it’s the only club left from that time. I like how Nick (guitarist/ vocalist/ whiskey drinker) just said the stage looks like one from a grade school auditorium.
Andy- Yeah, or maybe a real life sized puppet stage.
Slimedog- This would be the perfect place for our human puppet show. Hey, Reckless Force is starting to play.
Andy- Cool, it must be Reckless Force since they appear to be too young to be Iron Maiden. Although the music is quite similar.
Slimedog- They are described as eighties English metal but I was only listening to punk and new wave at the time so I don’t know what that sounds like.
Andy- Well, look no further. These dudes definitely have a handle on the 80’s metal. The lead guitarist is very good.
(Slimedog and Andy grab a quick beverage and sit back to enjoy the mind altering sounds of Reckless Force. Slimedog notices a cute redhead womanning their merch table and chastises himself for not wearing his Damn Broads tee shirt (inside joke). Reckless Force finishes their set and the next band, Shallow Ground takes the stage)
Slimedog- Well, now we have a band that says they do “old school speed metal” and they’re called Shallow Ground.
Andy- That’s right and they’re from Connecticut, the home of all good things hardcore. These dudes are definitely Metallica influenced.
Slimedog- They’re okay but I was hoping they’d sound more like Motorhead or Slayer.
Andy- That would be a tall order indeed. Speaking of Slayer I understand their founding guitarist is slated to make a full recovery from his spider bite affliction.
Slimedog- We wish him well. I have also bought a batch of those spiders to hopefully distribute to guitarists in indie bands.
Andy- Not sure it will work. Even poisonous spiders cower at the thought of indie bands. But on a pleasant’er note the mighty Led To The Grave are taking the stage.
(The boys decide to grab a slow beverage this time in anticipation of the joyous onslaught which will soon be serenading their audio orifices. Led To The Grave starts to play)
Slimedog- They have always sounded great but tonight is the best I’ve heard them.
Andy- I agree, they sound amazing tonight. Looks like Nick is fitting in nicely and Crobar (singer) is really hitting his stride.
Slimedog- They are my favorite metal band on our site, next to Uriah Heep, of course. I noticed you were headbangin’ your head into the stage.
Andy- Well, I couldn’t help myself. They’re so awesome, cost me a tooth though and I think something flew out of my ear.
Slimedog- Bad news is you got a big gash there. Good news is I saw what flew out of your ear. It was the beer can that’s been lodged in your head for month!
Andy- What a relief, now I’ll finally be able to remember where I left my nose hair clippings.
Slimedog- Hmm…Hey, are they doing a Misfits cover?
Andy- Yes, it’s “I Want Your Skull,” nice version. Swarm of Eyes also does a version of it live.
Slimedog- Another of our favorites. I think they played that song because they’re under the mistaken impression that your skull is an automatic beer dispenser. Now Seax is taking the stage.
(Slimedog asks/gets a dirty rag from the bartender and hands it to Andy to stop the stream of blood flowing from his head as Seax starts to play)
Andy- They’re a local outfit from Worcester. They’re a fun group with a nice pace to their tunes.
Slimedog- Mix of hardcore and metal would you say?
Andy- Yes, sort of like Slayer without the devil business. Or maybe even The Dickies of metal.
Slimedog- Yeah, that sounds good and so do they, but not as impressive as Led To The Grave.
Andy- Well, it’s nearly impossible for any mere mortals to keep up with the likes of L2TG.
Slimedog- Agreed, well we’d better stitch you up in the sterile environment of the mens room.
Andy- OK, it’s definitely been a great night of metal music. I’ll go fetch the needle and thread kit from my doctor’s bag out in the car …
