Thursday December 14th 2017

The Loud Ones – “Time To Skate”

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The Loud Ones – “Time To Skate”

 

So The Loud Ones sent us this CD. Not by the internet but by snail mail. I knew trouble was brewing. I received their CD; it has twenty-eight songs on it. I knew trouble was brewing

Andy is a computer genius, worked in computer hardware nearly all his life. He created our site from the ground up. I am a computer idiot, I dig computers but I feel victorious when I can successfully turn my laptop on. I have a hard time transmitting the reviewed songs to Andy each week. It causes me much grief, shame and hardship.

I saw Andy at the Midway a few weeks ago. I laid two CD’s on the bar for him to take. When he left he, inexplicably, left one.

This was the CD.

I downloaded it to myself, gave him the physical CD when I saw him next week. It’s all good- but when I went to look for it on my laptop I couldn’t find it.

It is still missing.

I asked him to e-mail it back to me, then someone from The Loud Ones, on facebook, asked me if we ever received the CD.

Ha! Ha!

I explained to him this story of sorrow and vowed that no human eyes would ever know this tale.

Until now.

Modern life is so confusing. Much like modern love.

 

The Loud Ones – “Time To Skate”
Modern Love

 

David Bowie has no business being in this review.

I dig him but soon he’ll be up in heaven making love with Lou Reed while they both watch that horrible movie Velvet Goldmine. Thoughts like this make me pray that there’s no afterlife.

But before we forget- this is a review of The Loud Ones. And I dig them and Jesus loves you. And Jesus loves me. I know he does because he tells me he does while we’re making love and listening to David Bowie and Lou Reed records while watching Velvet Goldmine….

 

The Loud Ones play skate punk. This is one of my favorite forms of punk rock. But with the demise of the Red Line Rebels and The Trans Fats we are left with hardly any skate punk bands on our site.

What is skate punk? I’d say its snotty vocals hardcore with energy, sarcasm and self-deprecating humor; not really political or heavy in tone. I think bands like local legends GangGreen and L.A.’s Angry Samoans represent this style nicely.

Now, The Loud Ones play in this style and add a dollop of psychedelic garage along with the hardcore punk. And I say they fit in pretty nicely with the aforementioned bands along with fitting in with Black Flag, Circle Jerks, The Dictators, Oi and all the early English punk bands.

And I’d say we best be giving a listen to some songs before the deranged reviewer goes off on a tangent again.

 

“Arrested” starts like a fire alarm going off in your skull before the vocals, that are full of bile and venom, come swooping in like angry bats. This tune makes me think of an early English punk band like UK Subs. This is a rollicking fun tune with a driving guitar line and some unison vocals causing my interest to be arrested.

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“Time To Skate” has some choppy garage chords, some call and response vocals going at a reasonable speed. Then it’s sped up past the speed limit taking deliriously dangerous curves along the highway. This song is an enjoyable accompaniment to crashing your eardrums into a mountain of sound.

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“Skateboarding, Chicks & Rock N Roll” starts off with a buildup, utilizing power chords that answer the snarling vocals, then a blues lick leads us into a chorus that would be a number one hit in a perfect world. This song makes me think of “Fight For Your Right To Party” by The Beastie Boys in the verse but the chorus is something that would fit in a great AC/DC song. Add a few Johnny Thunders and classic rock licks sprinkled in here and there and you have a pretty, great tune.

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“Indian Dance” kicks some serious ass and makes me think of The Trans Fats which is a very good thought to have. This song is twenty seconds long. It probably takes longer to read what I wrote about it than listen to it.

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“My Dog” is in the tradition of canine songs such as “I Wanna Be Your Dog,” “Atomic Dog” and “I Buttfuck My Neighbor’s Dog,” by Justin Timberlake. This is a great, moral treatise on the existential fate of man where it’s a dog eat dog world where Adam Ant is the only sane one amongst us.

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So check them out. They are a fun band. And all that stuff about the afterlife, don’t worry, I’m sure everyone is well behaved and there’s none of those shenanigans. So relax and enjoy this CD and don’t worry about the afterlife or any sore angel rectums fer chrissakes.

I know I will.

 

(Slimedog)

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