Thursday March 28th 2024

The Runouts / The Dick Pics / The Guilloteenagers

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The Runouts / The Dick Pics / The Guilloteenagers
The Roslindale Porchfest, Roslindale, MA     9/15/18

 

I hear there’s a new nightclub in Roslindale.

Great- it’s the town next to where I live! This place is even closer than the Midway.

I pull up where my directions take me, I see there’s ample parking.

I walk towards the club, but it’s unclear to me? There appears to be no front entrance.

Not only that, I’m seeing no walls and no structure.

So, I guess this is one of those open event showcases, an outdoor performance place, much like Great Woods in Mansfield or whatever they’re calling it this year.

I’m ready to pay the cover charge…Hmm, no one’s here. So I saunter in expecting to be hit up by a doorman at any moment. But no, I’m not?

The dance floor consists of paved tar- much like what you’d expect to see in a driveway, a novel concept, you must agree?

I head towards the bar…which seems non-existent. Okay, I got this. This is like Gilman’s Street in Berkeley, CA. A place I was priviledged to visit once. This must be an all-ages, no alcohol, community kind of event. I’m down with that.

Let’s see what this new club has to offer, it’s called The Roslindale Porchfest.

The Guilloteenagers are back to rock’n’roll! And that is their first song that they choose to play.

I wouldn’t say this band sounds like The Dictators, but they’re very much like them in that they have songs that straddle a fine line between classic rock and punk with very funny lyrics, both much like The Dictators.

They also have an excellent drummer- Pauly, Matt on guitar who sings most of the songs and Ali on bass who sings a few herself including, a song she wrote a few years back, right before she had her son Ozzy- “I’m Not Fat, I’m Just Pregnant.”

Wish I could use that excuse! I mean, lots of folks tell me to go fuck myself- but believe me, I’ve tried!

They have lots of great songs that they play today like “Hot Dog Water,” “Danzig Is A Midget,” and “Fifty Seconds,” a song dedicated to me as being my favorite.

Though that’s true, I might have to switch that to their tune, “Michelob,” praising the beer known as the “beer for connoisseurs.” During which Matt is nearly assassinated and certainly sexually assaulted by a bee (Beetoo. movement?)

“We risk our lives for you,” he so rightly and justly proclaims.

Great set to start off this new club’s grand opening.

The Dicks Pics are next, something I do regularly, but for some reason I’m always forced to use a small lens.

They are an all-girl band that loosely falls into the category of riot grrl/garage but they also play a song today in waltz time, also a funk tune led by Ali on bass, who plays in this band, too…

Along with Camille, the melodious singer, the wife of Matt from The Guilloteenagers and co-owner of this club. And Cat, the bassist from The Knock Ups who is playing drums! (Though, her an Ali switch off on instruments, halfway through the set.)

And they also have Neeley on guitar who disavows being related or even knowing anyone in either band.

I saw this bands first performance in a venue, if I can recall correctly, that was quite like this and quite near here, two years back. And I feel their style has become much more focused and that they have improved immensely.

They lead off with a fun, funny song about rejecting a guys advances in a club, after asking her is she had any “nice friends” called, “All My Friends Are Lesbians (And They Don’t Want Your Dick).”

Shortly into their set the do a cover song. It’s called, “I’m Not Fat, I’m Just Pregnant,” which I believe, is originally done by The Guilloteenagers, a band that, I believe I’ve seen play live, fairly recently, a band that I really liked.

They end their great set with a great cover of the great song, “Psycho Killer,” by The Talking Heads. (Fa-fa-fa-fa. Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa.) Which is actually from an Otis Redding song. (Who was the original lead singer of The Talking Heads.)

The Runouts take the elaborate stage with state of the art audio equipment and solar powered light system.

I’ve always enjoyed their high energy, very British Isle inspired punk music. For me they epitomize the best parts of bands like The Jam, The Undertones and Stiff Little Fingers.

Today’s set is a little bit more loose- which may or may not have to do with Matt Guilloteenager pouring ample amounts of whiskey down their throats while they’re playing in the midst of a song.

(So much for that Gilman Street vibe.)

But they soldier on and play a rousing, vibrant set that contains a cover of The Who’s “Substitute,” that they incorrectly note, is by The Beatles, an honest mistake.

At one point, their guitarist says- referring to their stage patter, “Our drummer says we’re not funny.”

I quickly leap up and shout, “You guys are funny but not as hilarious as your playing!”

But they soldier on and play a rousing, vibrant set that, surprisingly, did not contain a cover of The Dick Pics “I’m Not Fat, I’m Just Pregnant,” whose omission caused several grown men to weep openly.

But not me. I just stood there with a smile on my face and a gleam in my eye, and a camera poised in my crotch set on “enlarge.”

Knowing, that Boston, once again, has a new, vital music venue.

(Slimedog)

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