The Stretchers – 13 Song CD
If you want hardcore, metal core, grind core, apple core or calypso Irish reggae punk- you won’t get it here. If you want pure, un-cut, old school punk rock- then roll that dollar bill up and take a snort, this is where you need to be.
This cd is punk informed (fancy word for influenced) by The Sex Pistols, The Clash, Buzzcocks, Generation X and a hundred other notoriously nasty, noxious early British punk bands. The Stretchers decline any consideration about adding any current influences, as well they should, ’cause what they deliver packs a wallop and stays true to a vision of something great that is sometimes forgotten- namely the essence of original punk.
This punk is snarling, sleazy, snotty, slimy, sarcastic, snide scribbling’s and screeches by a bunch of pissed off, passed out, pud pulling, panty- waisted parasites parading their pathetic, pathological pandering’s of puss for the pundits.
This they do in an exemplary fashion.
Venomous, vindictive vocals; rolling, rollicking drums; grinding guitars, blasting bass, lyrics with cartoon images, ridiculous absurd depictions and anti-social nihilism- what more could you ask for? The picture is more than complete.
Rather than being redundantly retro they’re unusually unique in a scene that sometimes rely on the same influences and by doing so, this band, though they might sound a lot like The Buzzcocks or The Clash on a tune, ultimately, on our site, stylistically, get to stand alone.
I like all thirteen songs and it’s very easy, and fun, to listen all the way through. And when you consider the mounds of garbage one has to wade through to get here, that is saying a lot.
The first tune on this putrid platter is “Prozac Princess.” Ominous power chords, driving beat with drum rolls, leads to a petulant verse and then into the chorus, “She’s a Prozac Princess, she’s a Prozac Princess- Yeah.” Dig it, man!
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/01 – Prozac Princess.mp3|titles=Prozac Princess]“Obamageddon,” sounds like The Buzzcocks with too much caffeine (all right, I know, the English punks were doing speed, not lattes) and a bit more grit. I guess it’s political, but then who gives a fuck?
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/02 – Obamageddon.mp3|titles=Obamageddon]More buzzsaw guitar, a dash of Beach Boys/Dictators wooh-ooh-ooh’s added, rhythm section rollin’ and rockin’. My baby’s a Cyclops/ People stare/ My baby’s a Cyclops/ I don’t care. Bestiality never sounded better.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/05 – My Babys A Cyclops.mp3|titles=My Babys A Cyclops]“Grateful They’re Dead,” is a poignant reflection concerning the old hippie rock stars that are dead, and rather than regretting their passing, they couldn’t be gladder. The tune references hits by classic rock bands, “I don’t wanna hear about your fool on a hill, (Beatles) and I don’t really care about your little pill, (Jefferson Airplane), I don’t wanna hear about your whisky bar, (The Doors), and I don’t give a shit about who’s driving your car, (Beatles). The chorus goes, “I’m grateful, I’m grateful they’re dead.” I couldn’t agree more, just have to figure a way to get the remaining old dudes like The Eagles, Pink Floyd etc. and round them up and send them, along with their lovely back catalogs, on a rocket to Mars. “What a long strange trip it’s been”, indeed.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/08 – Grateful Theyre Dead.mp3|titles=Grateful They’re Dead]The next song, ‘I Hate Technology,” is about how we have all these gadgets to make life more frustrating. Oh, you say it’s to make it easier? Guess I didn’t read the manual; I just love the fact that I have no idea how to use someone’s television unless I’ve taken a night course.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/09 – I Hate Technology.mp3|titles=I Hate Technology]“I live a life of crime/ Nine to five is a waste of time.” “I’ll be up in heaven / I can’t fucking wait.” That’s the first line and the last line of the next two and last songs of our presentation. After it’s over please file orderly up the aisles and follow the exit signs. Brochures are available in the lobby.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/11 – The Extortion Twist.mp3|titles=The Extortion Twist] [audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/12 – White Night.mp3|titles=White Night]And as an extra added bonus, here’s a video. It’s not of The Stretchers but this is what I got when I you tubed them. It’s a bunch of young hippies from 1967 on acid dancing to a punk band.
(Slimedog)
