Words Of Truth / Honest John / The Howleez / Cry Havoc / Haggard Bastard
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 7/18/15
The following is one of our many dual texting reviews, frequently taking place at the Midway matinees. Unfortunately, this might be the last one for awhile because I have just accepted a new job that requires me to work Saturday and Sunday afternoons; so no more punk matinees for now for me.
At my new job I’ll be working as an anthropologist. I have no idea what that entails, or is, actually, but I’m sure I’ll be shown the ropes once I’m on the job. I assume it has something to do with anteaters and apologies, and if that’s the case, then everything should be just fine.
What follow is an example of dual texting. If you have any common sense at all, any comprehension of the difference between fantasy and reality or are able to function in society in a normal manner- please do not attempt this at home. Our staff has none of the above qualifications and thus can attempt these onerous tasks.
So sit back, let your senses dissolve to nothingness, open your mind to the wide spectrum of experience and begin the ending of everything you know to be true, watch it vanish- as you enter the realm of dual texting.
Slimedog- Is this the baseball park?
Andy- Hmm, your balls might take a strike here, but it’s not the baseball park.
Slimedog- Oh, I’m mistaken. I thought we were going to Fenway Park to see Mission Of Burma open up for the Foo Fighters.
Andy- Ah, no I’m afraid not. But looking to my right and seeing Dave should give you a clue though.
Slimedog- Yes, Smiling Dave- mayor of Midway. I guess we never thought Mission Of Burma would be playing Fenway Park (they were one of the first local bands we followed).
Andy- Mission Of Burma were certainly a great band, but we were privileged to watch so many great bands in the good old days.
Slimedog- True and now we see lots of great new bands today. Like this band, the first one to play today, Haggard Bastard.
Andy- I agree. I can’t help but do a little toe tapping to their subtle sledgehammer rhythms.
Slimedog- They’re Vermont based and created the best album I’ve reviewed this year. This is our first time seeing them and I am psyched! They’re an exciting, experimental hardcore band.
Andy- I think your definitely on to something or maybe on something or both. So far it’s a great show. And now up is one of our favorite bands from Connecticut.
Slimedog- Can I just add, I timed their set and it was fifteen minutes. That’s a long way to come for that short of time. Yes, here’s a great example of creative hardcore- It’s Cry Havoc.
Andy- They’re an awesome hardcore band. I just hope Johnny (the singer) doesn’t hurt himself too badly during the set.
Slimedog- It appears he keeps checking the mike to see if it’s working but instead of tapping it he’s smacking it into his forehead.
Andy- If he keeps it up, he might need to check if his head’s still working.
Slimedog- I believe it’s to get the creative juices flowing. I frequently hit myself over the head with a lead pipe while writing.
Andy- You mean to get the creative juices flowing or to make pulp.
Slimedog- Yes, art is much like orange juice as you pour it into a cup and try not to spill it. In Johnny’s case, sometimes spilling your blood and guts means literally spilling your blood and guts.
Andy- Well okay. To each his own. Speaking of which it looks like the next band is from the sunshine state.
Slimedog- And one of Haggard Bastard from the tree state (Vermont) just bought me a firecracker shot and his girlfriend gave me a smooch and a warm hug. What nice folks and what a great band. Okay, now here’s the Howleez.
Andy- Yes they’re from Florida. They have three girls and a drummer.
Slimedog- But they don’t play hardcore or punk. This is garage rock with riot grrrl vocals.
Andy- True, but it’s pretty peppy stuff. They’re kind of growing on me.
Slimedog- There’s also some green fungi growing on your neck I noticed.
Andy- You should see it under a black light. It glows.
Slimedog- How thoroughly revolting. Hey, it looks like Haggard Bastard is playing again. I see their singer on stage. They must have told them they wouldn’t get paid unless they played more.
Andy- Not quite. This is Honest John who shares its singer with Haggard Bastard.
Slimedog- You’re right. Our last review was a show they played at the Middle East. I thought they were great then and I think they’re kicking ass again today.
Andy- Yes they sound awesome this afternoon. And the crowd is digging them big time.
Slimedog- They play hard-hitting, intense hardcore and turn in a great set. Now it’s time for Words Of Truth, but the truth is- the singer couldn’t make it so they’re doing old songs from about ten years ago.
Andy- Sorry I think I just dozed off. I can tell because there’s drool on my chin. These guys sound pretty good without they’re singer.
Slimedog- Yes, I can see how excited you are. But really this does sound as good as their current repertoire. “White Irish Bastard” is a particular favorite. I realize that the folks reading this are sitting on the edge of their chairs right now, waiting for the giraffe to catch on fire, but he’s too busy running his new nightclub in Providence (Simon’s 677). So our new form of transportation is a snowmobile.
Andy- Right but only in the summer. In the winter we ride surfboards and light ourselves on fire.
Slimedog- The sparks that shoot off it when we’re riding down sidewalks is a bit disconcerting. Kudos to Sean of Words Of Truth for making this show happen. Should we put on our parkas and head back to our igloo’s?
Andy- Yes we’d better get going before our noses fall off….
