Crazy Jay Genoa’s 30th Birthday Bash
Empty Vessels / Red Line Rebels / The Enemy Within / S.F.O. (Scum fucking Oi)
Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA 8/25/2012
The following is a dual text review conducted by Dr. Andy Bang and his assistant, Slimedog. These reviews exist in controlled scientific environments by trained specialists who are well informed of the dangers their nervous systems are exposed to. In no way do we want this review to suggest any reader attempt this in the privacy of their own home and especially not while performing delicate surgery, operating heavy machinery, driving, imbibing Jagermeister and any or all activities involving silly string and especially not all at the same time. So sit back, relax, and prepare for your mind and spirit to be taken on a journey through space, time and matter.
Slimedog- Well today is Crazy Jay Genoa’s 30th Birthday Bash. I must say he does not look a day over fifty.
Andy- I know, I think all that playing with silly string is keeping him young.
Slimedog- He brings so many wonderful punk shows to Jamaica Plain that the people of Jamaica Plain want to tar and feather him and who can blame them?
Andy- He has certainly become the pied piper of the Midway Cafe.
Slimedog- True. S.F.O. was up at bat first. They have had three gigs and each one was reviewed by me.
Andy- Yes, I’ve seen them twice and I like them more each time.
Slimedog- Agreed, they have an interesting clause in their contract where they won’t play if I’m not there. They won’t leave the dressing room unless they see I’m seated. How would you describe their sound?
Andy- I think they’re a bit punky and hardcore with a tad of metal thrown in.
Slimedog- I’d say hardcore with changing rhythms with some short tunes.
Andy- They’re a very exciting band.
Slimedog- Definitely like them. Talk about getting better each time- how about The Enemy Within?
Andy- Wow, the Enemy really brought it! I thought they were awesome. A true, vintage hardcore sound with a nice metal vibe.
Slimedog- I get the feeling this band knows exactly what they want to sound like and achieve it perfectly.
Andy- Agreed, they also have a very cool CD which I’ll be reviewing this week.
Slimedog- Great, I think of them as metal without the guitar solos but with hardcore vocals. Red Line Rebels were next.
Andy- The Red Lines put on a great show as usual. I’m not sure what’s left for us to say about them, we’ve seen them probably more than any other band.
Slimedog- True, except for Dave Matthews. Remember we thought they might be selling silly string with the 20 cans they had at the merch table?
Andy- Yes, it turns out they were giving them away. During “Snot Rocket” there was so much silly string in the air that everybody walked away with spunked hairdos.
Slimedog- To add to the festivities; Allison, from Empty Vessels won a prize from TNB that day.
Andy- Ah, that’s right- our 300th “like” contestant winner (on our facebook page).
Slimedog- She chose the shot of whiskey over the cruise. A wise choice, indeed, and then her band played.
Andy- Empty Vessels are a fun band. They have a really cool sound.
Slimedog- There’s an experimental element, death vocals and high energy music but not hardcore or thrash. Really good band.
Andy- Definitely. Jay seems to be a big fan, as well.
Slimedog- They have a lot of folks talking about them. There were two more bands but, unfortunately, you had to leave to perform brain surgery.
Andy- That’s right. I had to perform a rare foreign object extraction.
Slimedog- And what was that, he asked with great trepidation?
Andy- I’d rather not get specific, but the guy’s girlfriend said she was just passing him a knife when she sneezed.
Slimedog- I believe the bands we missed were the Dave Matthews Band and Matchbox 20, Jay’s two favorite bands. And what did you mean when you said my upcoming brain surgery would be considered minor surgery?
Andy- Well, the first surgery that you had, when we took out your brain, was major. This time we’re just installing a Jagermeister distribution device which is rather simple these days.
Slimedog- Cool- next text review we should do it during my surgery as I believe I’m not allowed to talk during the operation.
Andy- That is correct but you are allowed to text. During dangerous activities, such as driving on the highway, texting appears to be recommended. It would be helpful if they taught this in driving school.
Slimedog- Sounds great, I can’t wait until I get my Jagermeister brain! Then my brain and bloodstream will be in perfect sync.
