Damn Broads! – “Guilty As Charged”
So the Damn Broads are my favorite band. Wait a minute, you say, I thought it was Rammstein?
Yeah, I do like them. I like them a lot. But we don’t yet cover Germany. Wait a minute, you say, what about Seals & Croft?
Well, yeah, but they don’t constitute a band. Or any musical worth. But I am fond of this:
But bestiality has been disqualified from my choice. So maybe you should be disqualified, Mr. Slimedog, you say? If Damn Broads are your favorite band how can you be impartial?
Fine- here we go- you want my real favorite band?
I’ll keep playing these goddamn clips until you let me be! Let me review the Goddamn Damn Broads why dontcha’s?
This is Andy Bang here. You wouldn’t believe the state Slimedog is in. The poor devil teeters on one edge of insanity and one edge of oblivion so let’s cut him some slack.
This is Samm Gunn. Now you’ve gone too far. This is supposed to be a goddamn review of the Goddamn Damn Broads and so far all I got is that Slimedog likes them and a bunch of crappy videos. Pull yourself together man! There’s a job to be done.
This is Slimedog’s mom, Clare- Harry The Cat just threw up his spaghetti-oh’s! Oh, my, where is that cat now?
So, in conclusion, Damn Broads are a very fine band, indeed.
Damn Broads are a band of women. Which is the most discriminated category on our planet. The whole idea of being a punk is being an outcast, a reject, someone who doesn’t fit in. Women, along with gay folks, along with any kind of minority automatically fits into the definition of a punk. So any white power pansy boys can stick their swastika’s where the sun don’t shine anymore.
Damn Broads music is, pretty much, my definition of punk. Meaning: real, true, strong, passionate, loud, rock’n’roll, pizza, cartwheels, beer, integrity, compassion and spaghetti-oh’s.
Damn Broads is in your face, pressing against the windshield, screaming, breaking vocals- in your face, in your heart, in your guts, grab you by the throat, grab you by the balls music and words. Ripping your guts out through your spleen, your soul out through your brain and your heart out through your tongue.
Now, settle down Harry. Let’s partake of some musical selections.
“Negative Nancy you’re making me sick/ No one wants, to hear you bitch,” is how “Negative Nancy” starts. Oh, that’s after a tremulous female voice goes, “You must think I’m an asshole, don’t you?” While a mild mannered male voice responds, “Yes, you might say that.” The rhythm is a moderately fast bashing punk beat but in the second verse it picks up a notch into a pulverizing hardcore thrash. Than it’s back to the first part while the vocals keep complaining about Nancy’s complaining. These two terrific parts alternate with an off the rails guitar solo thrown in for good measure. I got no complaints about this near perfect song.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/Negative Nancy.mp3|titles=Negative Nancy]“Social Media/ Stop the hype/ You decide/ Our life,” is how “Reality Side Show” starts with a marching beat and emphatic unison vocals. Then the music switches into a headlong rush of rhythm and passion like when the pit erupts and bodies are pushing against each other. Then the verse comes in with roaring guitars, a crushing hardcore beat and vocals lines traded off one and another. This is an exuberant, angry song full of energy and venom. This reminds me of a rap song with the different voices and the merry go round mad music happening within the song. An almost metal breakdown with descending minor chords slows it down only to build it up to one more burning explosion toward oblivion. My favorite song on the album. “You won’t decide how I live my life.” I decide to live my life with great songs like this one.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/Reality Side Show.mp3|titles=Reality Side Show]“We Are Who We Are” starts with some chords like a Clash song but soon the peaceful mood is broken as the high-octane high energy hardcore leads us off once again. “We don’t care just what you think/ Or your opinion on how much we drink.”“Guilty as charged” is shouted in the chorus as well as “Oi, Oi, Oi” displaying their Oi roots. This is one clear, concise blast of determination, self-worth and honesty and one hell of a song, to boot.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/We Are Who We Are.mp3|titles=We Are Who We Are]“I’m A Fake” is the video from the album, it shows them playing live and how the vocals are traded off amongst the three of them. They originally had a lead singer who left and then after trying a replacement for a short time, decided only they could duplicate the sound they were going for. (And the drummer, Taylor, always had the most expressive voice in my book.) This song is about being a poser. “I go to every show I can and that’s why I’m the bigger man/ I knock down people in the pit and act like I don’t give a shit.” This song isn’t fake but it is real, hard and true.
Damn Broads are like Rammstein says- they’re “wunderbar.” They’ve got the heart of minor threat, the scars of Iggy Pop and the balls of Bikini Kill. They may falter but they never fall and they never fail to deliver the power of passion, and the heart and sound of punk directly to you.
Damn Broads are like Coca-cola, they’re the real thing. Meaning- it’s not because they’re all shorties, which, in itself, is a cool fact- but they’re the band that strikes me most like the best hardcore band of all time- Minor Threat. And they do this with their intensity, singleness of vision, commitment, passion, hardness and truth.
So there’s no need for looking elsewhere, don’t look beyond this page.
I urge you- toss your Seals & Croft records aside. Hell, burn those Muskrat Love records as well. And to hell with German astronauts- TO HELL AND NEW JERSEY AND SAUDI ARABIA WITH THEM ALL!
You say I’m crazy? Guilty as charged. But you’re more crazier than I if you don’t check out Damn Broads fine new album. What’s it called? Oh, yeah…Guilty as charged.
(Slimedog)
