Episode 25: Jimmy goes to the Opera
(An excerpt from The Chronicles of Jimmy Thrash by Andy Bang)
Jimmy hears a knock on his apartment door. He shouts, “Hang on I’m comin’.” He walks over to the door and opens it. It’s his good buddy, Smilin’ Dan. They exchange pleasantries and Jimmy beckons Dan to come in and sit down.
They’ve made plans to hit a bar in Boston called The Opera House. Dan is a regular patron there, but this will be Jimmy’s first time. Jimmy tells Dan, “I’m almost ready. I just need to iron my shirt and feed Nads.” Nads is Jimmy’s cat.
Jimmy heads off to the kitchen to get some cat food while Dan plays with Nads. He returns with a bowl of cat gruel and places it on the floor. While Jimmy is bending over, Dan notices a brown circular mark between Jimmy’s shoulder blades.
Dan says, “Hey man, do ya know you have a brown mark on your back? You should get it checked out….lot’s of folks gettin’ skin cancer these days.” Jimmy exclaims, “Really? Let me check it out.”
Jimmy walks over to the bathroom mirror and tries to contort his body to get a look at his back. He sees the brown mark out of the corner of his eye and says, “Oh yah …, shit, what the hell is that?” He tries to touch it with his fingers, but it’s just out of reach. Finally he says, “I better get it checked … don’t need to bite the dust too early!”
Jimmy disappears into his bedroom for a few minutes and returns wearing a freshly ironed tee shirt. He bends down and gives Nads a squeeze saying, “You be a good boy now, I’ll be back soon.” Jimmy and Dan leave the apartment and jump into Dan’s car.
They drive into Boston and manage to park a couple of blocks from the Opera House. This part of Boston is always busy on a Saturday night. It’s a cool night for walking and Jimmy’s glad he brought his jacket. They walk to the Opera House and head inside.
As they enter the bar, Jimmy is amazed by the warm greeting Dan receives from the two beautiful ladies stationed behind the bar. Dan says, “Hello Girls, I have a new friend for you to meet.”
Dan introduces Jimmy to Michelle and Molly, the two bartenders at the Opera House. Molly says, “Hi Jimmy, how’s it goin’?” Jimmy smiles back and says, “Have I died and gone to heaven?” Michelle laughs and says, “I like your friend Dan, looks like he just earned a free shot.”
Dan and Jimmy sit down next to the bar. Michelle brings over two pints and two shots. Molly asks Dan, “Hey, where’s your usual sidekick Wild Bill?” Dan replies, “Oh Bill had to work tonight so I asked Jimmy to join us instead”. Michelle says, “Well Jimmy, you have fun tonight and if there’s anything you need just let us know.” Jimmy responds, “Thanks, ladies.”
Dan and Jimmy quickly settle into the bar’s sights and sounds. The small talk is firing and the alcohol flowing. It seems like the bar is filling up with more people every minute. An hour flies by when Dan turns to Jimmy and says, “I’ll be back ,,, I need to hit the head.” Dan gets off his stool and disappears into the restroom.
Jimmy decides to check out the sports action on one of the bar’s TVs. He’s watching for a few minutes when he feels a slight brush against his left arm. He looks over and notices a young lady standing at the bar next to him.
In a friendly tone, Jimmy says, “Hi, how are you tonight?” The young lady smiles at Jimmy and says,”Hi, I’m doing fine, my name is Karen, what’s yours?”. He replies, “I’m Jimmy … are you getting a drink?” Karen nods and asks, “What would you suggest?” Jimmy responds, “Well, the bartenders here make killer shots. Do you want me to get you one?” Karen say, “Sure, surprise me.”
Jimmy orders a couple of shots from Molly and hands one to Karen. They click glasses and down the shots. Just then Dan returns from the restroom and sits down on his bar stool. Jimmy says, “Hey Dan I’d like to introduce you to Karen.” Dan and Karen exchange greetings and start chatting.
Suddenly, Jimmy feels a bump against his right arm. He looks over and notices another young lady standing next to him at the bar. The young lady says, “Oops sorry, I didn’t mean to bump you, … just trying to get a drink.”
Jimmy looks over at her and is immediately captivated. He says, “No problem … no problem at all”. Their mutual attraction is undeniable. They stare at each other for a good few seconds and then start chatting away as if they’ve known each other for years. Her name is Kelly.
For the next 30 minutes, Jimmy and Kelly stand elbow to elbow at the bar, downing drinks, sharing stories and laughing. At one point, Jimmy turns to Kelly and says, “You know I might have skin cancer.” Kelly exclaims, “What!!” He nods and says, “Yah …, check out the mark on my back.”
Jimmy lifts up his shirt and shows Kelly his back. She looks closely at the mark on his back and in an almost sarcastic tone says, “Oooh, that does look serious.” Jimmy responds, “Hey, this is serious stuff … isn’t it? I mean, you can die from it, right?”
Kelly gently scrapes her fingernail across Jimmy’s back. She then says, “Yah, people have died from skin cancer alright, but I don’t know anybody that’s died from having smooshed chocolate on their back.” She shows Jimmy the chocolate from his back.
Jimmy looks over at Kelly and the chocolate and says, “Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me” and gives Kelly a huge hug. He then exclaims, “what a relief, you’re a life saver!!” Jimmy takes Kelly’s face in his hands and kisses her. Before he realizes what he’s done, Kelly kisses him back. And with bodies entwined and lips firmly locked, Jimmy and Kelly share a brief, time stopping moment, inside the Opera House.
To Jimmy, the kiss seemed to last for hours, but was only a few seconds long. A tap on his left shoulder breaks the romantic fog. As he turns to see who it is, Jimmy is greeted by a clenched fist hitting him square in the face. The blow knocks him backwards against the bar.
He looks past the fist and sees Karen with an irate psychopathic look on her face. Quickly, a guy and a girl rush up to Karen seemingly from nowhere. Each taking one of her arms, they escort her towards the Opera House exit. The guy says, “Looks like Karen’s had a bit too much to drink. C’mon Karen time to go.”
Dan looks over at Jimmy and says, “Hey man, you alright?” Jimmy rubs his chin and responds, “Yah. I’m OK, but what the fuck was that?”
The guy and girl return, but without Karen. The guy says, “Sorry about that … Karen can get a bit aggressive when she drinks too much.” Kelly says to Jimmy, “These are my two friends, Gary and Tina. … I guess you’ve already met our other friend, Karen.” Jimmy responds to Gary, “What did you do with her?” Gary replies, “I sent her home in a taxi.”
Eventually the smoke dies down and the atmosphere in the bar shifts back to having fun. Jimmy, Dan and their new friends continue to enjoy each others company up until closing time. Jimmy turns to Kelly and asks, “So how are you getting home tonight?” Kelly responds, “Gary drove. He picked up me and Tina at our apartment.”
Jimmy looks over at Gary and sees him staggering a bit. Jimmy says to Kelly, “Looks like Gary might be a bit under the weather. Why don’t you let me drive you guys back to your place. I’ll drive Gary’s car and then me and Dan can get a taxi back to our car.” Kelly responds, “Are you sure? …. seems like a lot of trouble for you.” Jimmy replies, smiling at Kelly, “No, no trouble at all..”
The bar closes and Jimmy drives Kelly and Tina (as well as Gary and Dan) back to their apartment in Gary’s car. Kelly invites Jimmy and Dan up to the apartment for a nightcap. They agree.
The apartment takes up the entire 2nd floor of a large 3 story house. It consists of a living room, kitchen, bathroom and several bedrooms. Kelly brings Jimmy and Dan into the living room and says, “Have a seat fellas. I’ll be back in a minute.” Kelly disappears down the hallway.
Tina looks over at Jimmy and Dan and says, “Will you guys be OK if me and Gary go outside for a smoke?” Dan says, “Sure, no problem.” Tina responds, “Cool, maybe you guys can find my little chua chua, Toby, while we’re gone.”
Tina and Gary go outside. Jimmy and Dan sit on a couch in the living room. Jimmy starts examining the living room decor. He notices a tiny tail poking out from under a chair across the room. He motions to Dan and says, “Check it out ,,, it must be Toby.” Jimmy loves animals and walks over to where Toby is hiding. He bends down, extends his hand and says gently, “Hey Toby, c’mere boy … “
Without warning, Toby growls and shoots out from under the chair towards Jimmy’s hand with razor sharp teeth blazing. Jimmy falls back and instinctively recoils his hand. Toby leaps and clamps his teeth down on Jimmy’s jacket sleeve. In a panic, Jimmy starts waving his arm around in a circular motion trying to get Toby to release him.
Jimmy swings harder and faster. Toby suddenly releases his sleeve and flies across the room towards a corner bookcase head first. Jimmy and Dan watch in horror, as Toby smashes his head into the bookcase and lifelessly slides down to the floor in a heap.
Dan looks over at Jimmy and says. “Well I guess you found Toby.” Jimmy walks over to Toby and says, “Shit, I don’t think he’s breathin’.” Dan replies, “Hey, get the fuck back over here and sit down like nothin’ happened.” Jimmy sits back down next to Dan.
Tina and Gary return to the living room. Tina notices Toby lying on the floor and says, “Oh look, isn’t he so cute? Looks like he’s all tuckered out. I’ll just leave him sleep for a while…”
Jimmy and Dan don’t says a word and glance at each other wide-eyed. Finally Jimmy gets up and asks, “Hey Tina, OK if I use the bathroom?” Tina replies, “Sure it’s down the hall.”
Jimmy gets up and walks down the dimly lit hallway. All the doors are closed, except for one. Jimmy figures the open one must be the bathroom. He sticks his hand through the doorway, feeling for a light switch. All of a sudden the door slams closed with great force, smashing his wrist. The door opens again and Jimmy falls to the floor in pain, holding his arm. A hand comes out from the dark room and grabs Jimmy, pulling him inside the room. The door slams shut behind him. The light goes on.
Jimmy is on his knees and feels an object pressed against his throat. His eyes are struggling to adjust to the light. He sees a large butcher knife pressed against his windpipe from a mirror across the room. At the other end of the knife is a woman standing behind him with a deeply psychotic look on her face. The woman is Karen. She angrily whispers, “So you thought you could follow me, did you? Better think again. I’ve kicked asses much bigger than yours.”
Jimmy responds, “No Karen, you’ve got it all wrong …” Karen replies, “Shut up or I’ll cut your throat right now.” She presses the knife more firmly against Jimmy’s throat. Jimmy figures it’s best to stop talking.
He watches Karen’s every move in the mirror across the room. He decides he better take action quickly or things could get worse. Jimmy waits until he sees Karen look away for a brief moment and quickly reaches up, grabs her hair and pulls his arms down sharply. Karen goes flying over Jimmy’s shoulders and onto the floor in front of him.
Jimmy quickly gets to his feet and kicks the knife out of Karen’s hand. Karen tries to get up. Jimmy clenches his first and swings at Karen with all his might, hitting her squarely in the jaw. Karen falls lifelessly to the floor.
Jimmy waits a few minutes to make sure Karen isn’t moving. Then he catches his breath and tries to collect himself. He’s not quite sure what to do. Finally, he just leaves the bedroom, closes the light and shuts the door. He walks back to the living room where Dan is chatting with Kelly.
Kelly looks over at Jimmy and says, “Hey you alright? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Jimmy smiles at her and says, “Sure, I’m alright. Just a bit tired … I think me and Dan better go.”
Dan concurs and gets up from the couch. He leans over to Jimmy and whispers, “Hey, I’ll wait for you down stairs while you say good night to Kelly.” Dan leaves and goes downstairs.
Jimmy turns to Kelly and says, “So, it’s been quite a night. We should do it again sometime… I mean, … hopefully with a lot less people. What do you think?” Kelly responds, “Definitely.” and hands Jimmy a piece of paper with her phone number on it.
Jimmy folds the paper and puts it in his pants pocket. Kelly reaches up and gives Jimmy a quick kiss on the lips and says, “Goodnight.” Jimmy responds, “Goodnight.” and starts walking to the door.
As Jimmy is leaving the apartment, he feels a strong force grab and push him. He looks over his shoulder and sees Karen tackling him and screaming. Karen pushes Jimmy across the porch and towards the railing. They slam into the railing and it breaks. The two go tumbling off the 2nd floor porch and onto the street below. Jimmy smashes into a few bushes before everything goes black…
… the sound of a metal bowl hitting the floor jars Jimmy back into consciousness. He slowly opens his eyes and notices a figure in white bending down to pick up something from the floor. A voice from across the room says, “Hey buddy, how are you feelin’?” Jimmy looks over and sees Dan.
Jimmy tries to sit up, but stops when he feels a twinge of pain. He mumbles, “Aarhh … I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus … where am I?” Dan answers, “Well, you’re in the hospital. You’ve been out cold for 3 days. Don’t you remember what happened?”
Jimmy puts his arm over his eyes. Most of his pain seems to be centered around his head. He looks over at Dan and tries to remember what happened.
After a few minutes, Jimmy says “Now I remember … I fell off the porch at Kelly’s apartment”
Dan looks at Jimmy quizzically and responds, “Who’s Kelly?”
Jimmy looks back at Dan and says, “Hey man, don’t fuck around with me… you remember Kelly … we drove her and her friends back to their apartment from the Opera House.”
Dan laughs and says, “Jimmy, what are you talking about? I think that hit on your head jarred your brain. We never made it to the Opera House that night.”
Jimmy fights through the pain and sits up. He says, “What do you mean? How did I get here then?”
Dan responds, “We were leaving your apartment when all of a sudden I hear this thud behind me. I looked back and saw you laying on the ground. That’s when I called 911. The doctor said you must have passed out from dehydration and hit your head pretty good on the cement…”
Jimmy listens to Dan in quiet disbelief. Dan finally adds, “You got a really bad concussion….”
Jimmy turns his head and stares out the hospital room window. After a few minutes he turns back to Dan and asks, “So what about Karen, Tina and Gary … what about Molly and Michelle ,,, what about Kelly …. ?“
Dan responds, “Sorry buddy, I don’t know any of those people … but the doctor said, a hit like the one you took, can cause all kinds of interesting side effects, like dreams … and even hallucinations.”
Jimmy turns and looks back out the window. Dan walks over to the bed and says, ”I need to go to work, but I’ll call you later. The doctor says you’ll be in here for a few more days … for observation. I’ll take care of Nads for you.”
Dan opens the door, “Oh yah, I also had the doc check out that thing on your back … he said he took care of it. See ya buddy.” Dan leaves and closes the door behind him.
Jimmy continues to stare out the window. His head starts hurting again. He slumps down in the bed and closes his eyes. Eventually he falls back to sleep….
A few days later, Jimmy is released from the hospital. He gets dressed, signs a few papers, and goes outside to hail a taxi. He gestures with his arm and a taxi stops in front of the hospital. Jimmy gets into the taxi and tells the driver his address. He is very relieved to be finally going home. After a twenty minute ride, the taxi stops in front of his apartment. The driver looks back at Jimmy and says, “$9.48 please.” Jimmy says, “OK” and thrusts his hand into his pants pocket to get the cash. He blindly grabs whatever he finds in his pocket. When he pulls his hand out he notices a wad of bills and a small folded piece of paper …
