The Pity Whores / Fast Times – “The Split”
So I eject Jimi Hendrix out of my laptop’s side orifice just so I can slip in The Pity Whores/Fast Times covers of “Banana Splits” songs. Here’s a video from the sessions:
The idea that I would eject Jimi Hendrix for this punk swill is indefensible, indecently grotesque and shows a clear lack of judgement and time management on my part.
But, you know, I can get almost everything and anything on youtube- except what I want most, which is your undying love. But the Hendrix folks have a tight leash on his music, ironically, because from all accounts, Jimi gave guitars away to anyone who needed one and could give a fuck all for money and just cared about his music and people hearing it, which was number one.
And he’s number one with me while Fast Times is 47th and The Pity Whores 1,086.
But I’m not here to ponder what if Hendrix had lived and became the guitarist for Van Halen (Van Hendrix, of course.) And Eddie was known as Michael Jackson’s guitarist and his hot solo in “Beat It,” before being run over by a stampede of deranged giraffes in Neverland. “Might as well jump.”
Yeah, and I might as well hump the dark side of Keith Moon but instead I will try to compose myself, gather a few nit-wits about me and proceed to regale you with a tale about how The Fast Whores and Pity Times made an impressive EP.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/01 Drug Dealer.mp3|titles=Drug Dealer]“Drug Dealer” leads off the record with backwards banjo strumming that if played backwards on a turntable clearly states, “I am Satan! Would you care to share a latte with me?” Though I don’t own a turntable, I have the dollars and cents to know, a song like this that glorifies the pharmaceutical companies of America, some of the worst criminals in the land, could only be written by destroyed minds set out with the intent of the destruction of our values and morals…not that that’s a bad thing. This is pop/punk with the grime of garage smeared on its face and the guts and energy of hardcore dripping out of its pores. It’s a song that makes me high without any artificial, inferior substances. This is pure, uncut, substantial passion and excitement galore.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/04 What You Wanna Do.mp3|titles=What You Wanna Do]“What You Wanna Do” starts out with some hoedown, hometown pickin’ and a grinnin’ that makes me want to stuff these good ‘ol boys into a wood chopper for even making me think of seventies country rock like The Eagles and Poko and bless your lucky ears you don’t get the last reference. The words fly by me like sign posts on a highway and not like body entrails shooting out of a wood chopper. “You shower and brush your teeth. I drink till I puke all over the bedsheets…Your mother thinks I’m just another asshole…but tell me what you wanna do today?” It would be nice if this was really the new country, than it would be music that had subtle humor instead of obvious jokes and was heartfelt and real with a disarming charm. “So when will I see you again? When will I be more than just your friend…Tell me what you wanna do, I’d do anything for you.” Well, lookey-here. When we weren’t looking they’ve slipped a love song in on us. Not sure of the outcome of the relationship depicted but this is surely an honestly, great song.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/06 Addies.mp3|titles=Addies]“Addies” which I believe alludes to Adderall which is pharmaceutical speed, starts with some stuttering, grinding teeth guitar that is cautiously accented by the approaching rhythm section. Until a bam-bam-bam-bam rhythm enters with an exclamation of “I got no time for things I love.” I can understand your consternation but what I can’t understand is anyone not loving this potent, powerful song. As rocket jets are set into overdrive and background vocals respond with “Give what you got.” And the speed breaks the sound barrier. “When I got time- I waste it all.” You won’t feel you wasted a millisecond listening to this hard driving, hardcore speed punk with its pulchritude of passion- pure and raw and sautéed in a bed of onions, served on a musical palette that satisfies and is tasty, true and awesome.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/07 The Bottom Line.mp3|titles=The Bottom Line]“The Bottom Line” alludes to the financial concept that all that’s matters is profit. I think I would like to apply that concept to this song but in an artistic sense. And I calculate that any time invested in listening to this song is time well spent and the content is priceless. The bottom line is this is song has a bulldozer, pulverizing, pounding rhythm section pushing each beat faster as the guitar slices and dices a million emotions and the vocals melodically float into paradise leaving us with a paradise for the ears. This band reaches for the top line- meaning, something lasting and something of truth and beauty. And succeed perfectly.
Both these bands have played each TNB Xmas Party (well, Fast Times missed the fourth one due to food poisoning) but they were both their for the last one and it was, in part, a record release party for this ep.
And they are some of the best bands, and these are some of their best songs, and this is some of the best music being made today in one of the best music scenes around.
But what’s more important is, they are reflection of where we are at, where good hardcore/punk music is at.
But besides that- where honest and passionate feelings are at, where fun and fury and intelligent wit is at. Where what is strong and beautiful, raw and wild resides.
Well, I’m wrong with that, though, not far off course. It doesn’t actually reside in the grooves of this ep.
But in the souls, minds, hearts, guts of all of us, of all of you, even in me.
I feel it hit me like an electrical shock up the spine.
Check it out and see if you agree.
(Slimedog)
