The Trans Fats – (CD review)
Now The Trans Fats are no more. Yeah, well they still individually exist, at least, I believe so- but as far as I’m concerned, they’re all dead to me.
You see they were one of my favorite bands, my favorite band from Providence, at least, and for this I can’t forgive, I can’t forget- so this may be the dissolution of the band but I predict- No, I promise, I vouch- that I will hunt all of them down, like rabid dogs, individually, and I will squeeze the ever living life from them.
If they don’t exist as a band they don’t deserve to exist as individuals to me. But that’s another story- let’s look at their last completed project.
Now with Todd, the singer, he occasionally works in a bad section of Dorchester, it won’t be hard to set him up for demise. I could let caution throw itself to the wind but I think a few easy dollars passed to the local gang will take care of matters. You’re a great singer Todd and I hope to say soon- you were. Grasping hardcore vocals in your own style will certainly be missed and I regret that we may not hear your voice, at least in this world, again.
The drummer, Larry F, was a stalwart in prodigious propulsion previously propelling perfectly this band along with craft and percussive precision. We will also miss Larry’s able display when he is met with an unfortunate accident- his legs encased in cement down by the Waterfront. Such a rare occurrence, such a tragic event, your beat will surely be missed.
Which brings us to the guitarist, Jaime, moving forward in A Dying Breed. He pledges to keep playing and keep the flame of the torch going. Such a shame if his work van was to suddenly explode.
And John, who was the bassist- well, he was solid and still is. He most certainly will be spared.
So though it’s sad to see the demise of the band and slightly disturbing to see the end of the members lives through unfortunate circumstances; all accidents though authorities are still investigating, let us now take a penetrating, incisive look at their last outpouring of musical tidbits.
I’m familiar with “Land Shark” and you might be, too, if you’ve seen the band or, in fact; your teeth were inadvertently attached to a high speed train and what was left of your corpse after it was scraped clean across the rails was only your eyes and mind registering movement. Kind of like Motorhead with whacked out guitar and Bad Brains spouting vocals metamorphosized and blended for the smooth, tranquil, green tea explosion inside of your eardrums. And a cool, clean spike driven into the center of your mind.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/01 LAND SHARK-.mp3|titles=LAND SHARK]
“Choco Taco” is a tune that explores the many multicultural world music influence that effects everyone, even in the skate punk community. Here is an excellent example of it being applied with a mariachi tune played backwards while tacos and clarinets are inserted in unsavory orifices, plucked quickly out and then used to break open hanging piñatas dropping cow livers on an unsuspecting, but delighted crowd. What a lovely, enchanting tune!
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/06 CHOCO TACO-.mp3|titles=CHOCO TACO]
“Pirate” is a fun song that starts out like a garage rock band from the sixties called something like Strawberry Electric Sidewalks but their members are pushed head first into a cement mixer while a mutant wombat is choked to unconsciousness (Hello, Todd) and then a wrecking crew with mallets and sledgehammers come in to smash it to a pulp. Oh, and eye-patches.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/07 PIRATE-.mp3|titles=PIRATE]
Slashing, smashing, crashing guitars lure the unsuspecting, hysterical vocalist into a maze of whirling, propulsive rhythms ably provided by the rhythm section. Prog rock guitars borrowed from some obscure seventies English band dive bomb in. The vocalist blows a conniption at such an atrocity and vomits a yard long field of yellow and green puss into your auditory eye. Then the song ends.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/08 CARVE THE BREAK-.mp3|titles=CARVE THE BREAK]
Drunken Chinese food Chinatown 3 a.m.- Zombie cocktails with more kinds of rums than fingers on your hand; bored, tired Asian waiters always smiling but never happy in button to the neck white, red or gold tunics; asshole Caucasians choosing fatty, delectable appetizers to soak up enough alcohol so they’ll be able to man their vehicles the required distance home to avoid DUI incarceration. Lonely Sunday morning hours, loud chatter, girls in bunches, boys in bunches, lost in the big night hook-up dream, a reprieve from their daily office charade of compromised desires, misguided intentions; lost purpose, lost pleasure, small dreams, cheap drunks, cheap highs, nihilistic oblivion. Oh, yeah- here’s the song.
[audio:https://www.thrashnbang.com/wp-content/music/13 MAI TAI-.mp3|titles=MAI TAI]
So The Trans Fats are no more. Todd, was for me, the best hardcore singer on our site; John, the best bassist; Jaime, the most inventive guitarist and Larry one of the top drummers. And their songs and style was the tops for me- hey! There are no jokes in this paragraph, what gives? But that’s how I feel.
So I would highly recommend seeing them live and buying this CD when you do so.
Yeah, good luck with that.
But seriously thanks for the music and good luck to these guys in their future endeavors.
And one word of wisdom for them- be cautious; very, very cautious.
(Slimedog)
